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My Postpartum Journey, Month-by-Month

01/21/21

My month-by-month summary of my postpartum journey | Health Coach Marissa Vicario

There are many aspects to a postpartum journey that I never thought about during pregnancy. The first year after having Valentina felt like one big learning curve. Now that I’m finally feeling like myself again, I figured now would be the perfect time to share about what my postpartum journey was like.

If you missed other posts in this series, you can catch up here:

One and Done

My Breastfeeding Journey

What It’s Like to Have a Baby in the NICU

Valentina Antonia’s Birth Story

My Third Trimester

My Second Trimester

Gender Reveal: It’s a … 

Our Big Island Babymoon 

My First Trimester

Our Infertility Journey: We’re Having a Baby! 

Our Infertility Journey: The IVF Decision

Our Struggle with Infertility 

I want to preface this post by saying that all postpartum journeys are different. My goal for sharing this is to be totally honest and transparent about what it was like for ME. There were many beautiful moments – too many to count, but there were equally challenging and hard times as we navigated new parenthood through a pandemic.

What surprised me most is that I didn’t feel like myself until at least one year postpartum! Nobody ever prepared me for that. There’s a lot of pressure to “bounce back” into exercise, work and intimacy and if you spend time on social media you’ll believe that many moms do. Most days, I wondered what was wrong with me that I wasn’t bouncing back as fast – it affected my mood, my self esteem and even my motivation.

Spoiler alert: There was absolutely nothing wrong with me! Here’s a month-by-month breakdown of my postpartum experience.

Month 1

Valentina was born 5 1/2 weeks premature so I spent most of the first month of my postpartum journey in the NICU. It was surreal to leave the hospital after her birth without her. She was there for 18 days which felt like a lifetime. It was one of the scariest and most uncertain times of my life. I spent all day everyday there, holding her – and worrying about everything. I had envisioned a beautiful postpartum recovery at home with my baby, but instead I recovered from labor and delivery in the tiny bathroom of a hospital waiting room. You can read more about what it’s like to have a baby in the NICU here. Looking back, this experience set the stage for a lot of the anxiety I experienced in the months to follow.

Physically, I recovered from delivery quickly with no complications, which I attribute to my fitness level pre-baby. Any pain and soreness I had was gone by the time Valentina came home from the NICU. Mentally and emotionally, however, these first weeks took a lot out of me that needed time to be repaired.

Months 2-4

The day Valentina came home with us was the happiest day! She was tiny and fragile and we were absolutely clueless about how to care for her. Our baby nurse met us the moment we arrived home and I felt a sense of peaceful bliss wash over me as we settled in that night finally home as a family of three. But that blissful first night turned into a blur over the next couple of months as I navigated life with a newborn, struggled with breastfeeding (read about my breastfeeding journey here) and began exclusively pumping around-the-clock. There were many days I never even changed out of pajamas! The days and nights were long but those months passed fast. David and I snuck in a couple of date nights while we had our baby nurse and got many nights of restful sleep thanks to her, but little did we know those would be our last for a very long time.

Once our time with the baby nurse was over, we trialed a couple of caregivers and took a few trips to Kentucky, Florida and Washington D.C. – mostly going about our lives as usual, but my pumping schedule and her newborn feeding schedule often made it challenging to leave the house for any length of time. At six weeks postpartum I was cleared to exercise but I couldn’t even find the time or energy to get to a barre class until at least a few weeks later and even then it was with very little consistency.

Months 4-6

I went back to work teaching barre one day a week, but it was challenging for us to find good childcare. The other days of the week, I was settling into my role as a new mom. I took Valentina to music classes and new mom meet-ups even though my pumping schedule still got in the way of basically everything. We were enjoying her plentiful smiles, easy-going personality and ability to sleep anywhere so much so that I found I didn’t want to be away from her.

Once the pandemic hit and NYC was in lockdown mode, everything came to a halt and all of my postpartum anxiety came flooding back. I was grateful to have David home with me 24×7 helping with Valentina, but being home all day everyday with a newborn in an NYC apartment and a husband who works a demanding job wasn’t easy. With so many unknowns, we barely went outside at first and the lack of fresh air and sunlight took its toll.

I was still waking up to pump in the middle of the night and then it happened – Valentina abruptly stopped sleeping through the night. There were nights she would wake up as many as TEN times! We were zombies. We considered sleep training but couldn’t let her cry it out so we decided to let it work itself out.

Months 6-9

After three long months at home, we decided to get out of the city so we rented a house in Florida for a few months. I could finally cut out my middle of the night pump and one daytime pump leaving me at 5 pumps per day which is still a lot but it felt like a break. Since we were home so much, I decided to keep going and continue pumping for Valentina for a full year. As a result, I struggled with postpartum weight loss and was trying to navigate a body I didn’t recognize and that didn’t feel like my own in bathing suit season.

Valentina was becoming more mobile, vocal and opinionated and I found ALL of my energy going toward her and not me. Florida was a nice change of scenery but we were still homebound and Valentina was crawling everywhere! She was eating solids like a pro which meant I spent a lot of time pureeing food and making her meals. To be clear, I wanted and loved to do this but, it was time consuming. She still wasn’t sleeping through the night and her napping was unpredictable too. My easy newborn had become not-so-easy anymore. Watching her grow right before our eyes month by month was incredible and exciting but David and I were more sleep deprived than we ever imagined we could be and I craved being able to work again like I used to.

Months 10-12

We arrived back in New York and – after two months away – it felt SO GOOD to be home! With Valentina’s first birthday on the horizon, I had a plan in place to wean from the pump. We had worked with a sleep consultant during our last month in Florida to sleep train Valentina with a gentle method so we were all finally getting more sleep and we started to think again about childcare options for Valentina. I felt hopeful for the first time since the pandemic had started.

Months 12-15

It wasn’t until one year postpartum and I put the pump away for good that I finally felt like myself again. I had pumped for the last time, Valentina was in daycare part time and I committed to my own self care in a more serious and consistent way. My weight started to normalize – physically, my body felt like my own again and I finally fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Mentally, I felt like a switch had flipped as Valentina entered toddlerhood. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still a spirited child but now that I feel more like myself, have solid self care practices in place and some time during the week to do things I’ve always loved, I feel like a much better parent.

So that’s my month-by month breakdown of my postpartum journey! It goes without saying that every pregnancy, birth, baby, breastfeeding journey and postpartum experience is different. Now, more than ever, it’s important to tune out what you think your postpartum experience should look like (I wish I had) and give yourself the time, space and whatever else you need to fully recover both mentally and physically.

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About Me


Welcome! My name is Marissa and I’m a lover of all things health and wellness.As a NYC-based board-Certified Wellness Coach and Healthy Living Expert, I share my own health secrets, get-fit tips and the cooking expertise that has inspired countless women to change their relationship with food and turbocharge their health to become holistically hot in a way that’s fun and fearless.
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As a new mom, I quickly discovered that there's a As a new mom, I quickly discovered that there's a lot of focus on "bouncing back" into exercise, work and intimacy and many of the moms who had babies at the same time as me seemed to be doing it a lot faster than I was. Because nobody ever told me it could take up to a year (or longer) to feel like myself again, I often wondered what was wrong with me. 

On my blog (link in profile or MarissaVicario.com/blog), I published an honest account of what my first year postpartum was actually like as I learned to navigate a new body with a new purpose, a baby that refused to sleep and of course, a pandemic. 

What I'm about to say I wish someone had told me 15 months ago: It’s ok to take as much time as YOU need to recover and even though you're a mom now, you WILL feel like yourself again! 💚💋👩‍👧📸: @graceandfirephotography 

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I'M BACK ... and more thankful than ever for my he I'M BACK ... and more thankful than ever for my health! If you were following my stories earlier this week, you saw that I took some time off because of a corneal abrasion. It's now 90% healed. 

Valentina poked me in the eye on Saturday morning and by that night I couldn't open my eye. And because I couldn't open the injured eye, I couldn't open the other eye. 

It was both scary and frustrating. With both eyes closed, all I could do was sleep. So with the help of my husband who took on sole responsibility for Valentina, I slept all day Sunday and half the day Monday until I could get in to see my eye doctor. 

I joked to one of my friends that I finally got the mommy break I needed - just not the one I wanted! I also caught up on all my missed sleep for the year! 

But in all seriousness, with everything going on in the news I knew I needed the social media/tech break, I just wasn't taking it. I'm a firm believer that the Universe does for us that which we can't do for ourselves. This has always been true for me that when I most need a break, I'm forced to take one through Illness or injury. 

With Valentina being sick the first week of the year followed by my social media and technology hiatus, I fell even more behind than I already was. But in the grand scheme of things, none of that matters. 

I'm so thankful for my family’s health and even though I was injured, I actually feel refreshed. Next time I need a break, I'm giving myself permission to take one - and I hope you will too! 💚💋👀

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Now let me tell you about this outfit. I know, I know it looks like basic black sweats but they’re better than basic - I’ve been living in these @monrow_official joggers (the softest ever) and this elevated cropped sweatshirt by @alala both courtesy of @renttherunway. Use my code RTRMARISSA this month for 40% off an 8 or 16 item plan. @rtrambassadors
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