One and Done

Photo credit: The AB View Photography

One of the topics that comes up constantly among my new-Mom friends is when everyone is going to start trying for Baby #2. For many people, having more than one child is a given. So much so, in fact, that when I tell people we’re finished having children they say things like, “it’s too soon to know” or “you may still change your mind.”

After three years of infertility, a difficult pregnancy both physically and emotionally and a pre-term birth followed by 18 long days in the NICU, David and I are certain that our family is complete. We’ve even made the difficult – and likely somewhat controversial – decision to discard our remaining embryos.

While our intentions are clear and I’ve openly shared them, I can’t help but notice that for those of us who choose to have one child or no children, there’s a lot of societal pressure to have multiple children.

I get it. For the longest time I assumed I would have the 2.33 children typical of the standard American family and I definitely felt a certain push to do it more so than a strong personal desire – as if it were an expectation.

I’ve shared before that children weren’t always part of the plan for us when we got married. However, given what we went through to get Valentina here healthy and safe, there’s no doubt in our minds that we don’t want to take those same risks again.

Even so, we feel complete as a family of three. Children are a lot of work and require complete sacrifice (even more so in a pandemic) none of which we were ready for before now. We waited to start our family and the timing was perfect for us but that means we’ll forever be a family of three.

How about you? Are you team one and done or team the more the merrier?