Parking the Perfectionist

Week 4 of the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse was a no-brainer for me. I’m a recovering perfectionist and although agreeing with myself not to be perfect often gnaws at me, I live a fulfilling life knowing I’m working smarter and getting more of the things I love accomplished rather than working harder at being perfect. Sure, there are those things in life that have to be just right, but I’ve learned to prioritize exactly what they are. You see, the more time I spend being perfect, the less I’m being authentic.

For instance, I send out a monthly newsletter to everyone on my mailing list (to sign up for my imperfect newsletter click here). I compose it myself and take great pride in how it looks. But at times there are these little glitches in the program that may tweak the formatting. I may spend some time trying to fix it but if it takes too long, I don’t sweat it. The important thing to me is that the communication goes out to my peeps and my message is clear.

Here’s a better example. I used to want to be this picture perfect woman who served in a leadership role on every committee, looked after her home, worked full time, exercised six days per week, ran her own business and maintained a successful relationship all while never wearing the same perfect outfit twice. Exhausting! Each one of the above takes lots of time and energy to do it well and when I stepped back to look at the big picture, I realized each was suffering in its own way. So as I mentioned in my Week 3 post, I let one of those leadership roles go (since that post, I have let another go!) and I also hired a housekeeper to clean my home every other week again letting go of the fact that she may not clean it exactly as I would – at least it is clean! I’m still working on the outfit thing 🙂

One of my favorite exercises I do with my clients is an exercise about being “bad.” It’s basically an invitation to be imperfect — to do one “bad” thing everyday. Maybe one decides to delete every email in her inbox so she doesn’t feel that nagging pressure to reply to all of them or another opts not to blow dry her hair straight. The idea is that we spend so much time trying to be perfect, yet none of us really are and it’s costing us our authenticity and our own true selves.

If given the chance, what is one way you would be “bad’?

To catch up on Weeks 1-3 of the IMG Cleanse:

Inner Mean Girl Be Gone: Kickin’ It All Off

Week 1: My Week without Gossip

Week 2: Kickin’ Comparison to the Curb

Week 3: Obligation in Overdrive: Puttin’ the Brakes On

Sneak Peak at Week 5: Stop judging!

I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador. To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.